l'arte d'arrangiarsi

THIS VIDEO = MY BEST FRIEND AND I. THIS SONG = MY BEST FRIEND...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 16:48:20 -0700

THIS VIDEO = MY BEST FRIEND AND I.

THIS SONG = MY BEST FRIEND AND I.

This has always been our song, and we’ve had moments like this video while listening to this song. But how have we never seen this video of them going through all of the exact memories of us listening to their song?

MINDBLOWNCRYING.

I can’t decide what to do next with this one. It looks...

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 23:37:18 -0700

I can’t decide what to do next with this one. It looks empty.

A James Blake mood study. For this, I put on my Sennheiser...

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 11:43:00 -0700

A James Blake mood study.

For this, I put on my Sennheiser headphones in order to really block out the world and focus on the sounds. I play the same James Blake song on repeat. I let the song sink in deep as I start to draw, not knowing where it will take me. In this state, I think of absolutely nothing. The music is in control. Essentially, I am putting myself into a darker place in an effort to express an emotion music expressed better than I ever could. I channeled so much of it that I almost cried while drawing her.

Release… Relief.

Art will forever be my greatest therapy and release.

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 19:24:47 -0700

Art will forever be my greatest therapy and release.

the archives.

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 11:17:00 -0700

Chances are, I have written about you, at one point or another.

After not seeing these two for nearly a year and a half, Take...

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 21:44:00 -0700

After not seeing these two for nearly a year and a half, Take and Erin, like the angels they are, always somehow swoop back into my life exactly when I need them. Take, in particular, has said many incredibly insightful words to me over the years that I can safely say have helped shape a great deal of my beliefs and philosophies. This is not the first time he has been quoted in this blog, and it won’t be his last.

I am on cloud nine recalling the wise words from Take’s mouth tonight. This line impacted me so much that I immediately wrote it down on my phone: “There is a cycle that everyone is in, and the only way to break that cycle is through forgiveness. You have to forgive yourself. Be okay with where you are, accept it, and forgive it.” For where I am right now in my state of mind, for where I may always be, for where I always come back to time and time again… I needed to hear this. I may forever be in a cycle, but I must accept it and forgive it. Most of all, I must forgive myself for it.

Thank you, Take and Erin. Always.

"I am on a sort of crossroads in my life and I can do without that. I can feel the attraction but I..."

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 11:21:00 -0700

““I am on a sort of crossroads in my life and I can do without that. I can feel the attraction but I can also keep myself apart. I admire beauty more than anything else but now I don’t feel I must possess it. The ideal man or woman doesn’t exist. When you look for something you are not really looking for a man or a woman. You are looking for someone who awakes something which is buried inside you and once that person does it you become familiar and you always want that and then you stay with that person. But two people who are in love are not in love just with each other. There is a third element intermingled and that third element is an ideal. Both must love the same ideal and that is what they have to share. If that doesn’t exist, then it’s not love, it’s necessity.””

- Bob Dylan, 1989.

#stressrelief #copicmarkers

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 23:48:58 -0700

#stressrelief #copicmarkers

On Easter Day, my mom walked up to me as I sat on the couch and...

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 14:57:54 -0700

On Easter Day, my mom walked up to me as I sat on the couch and asked if she could pray for me. She sat down and took both my hands in hers, holding as tightly as possible. As soon as she started praying, I burst into tears, sobbing violently through the entire prayer. My dog, Sadie, who had been wandering and playing on her own, suddenly stopped what she was doing and jumped right into my lap. She sat still in my lap and patiently listened to us—my mom’s prayer and my sobbing—as if she knew how important that moment was for me. She lowered her head as if to tell me, “I’m here too, Sharon. We love you.”

The demons are back. Or were they here all along?

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 14:56:34 -0700

The demons are back.
Or were they here all along?

mo money mo problems.

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 10:15:15 -0700

I cared about much more important things in life when I made less money.

i'm a prophet.

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 23:36:00 -0700

I wrote this in 2011, right before I got my heart blindsided and broken. I was fearless then.

That which does not kill you, will only make you stronger. Life is about taking risks. We risk our lives every day, getting into a car, getting on a plane, crossing the street. But why are matters of the heart that much more terrifying? Fear is there because there is an unknown variable that you can’t see or control. Let go of what you cannot control. That’s the only way to enjoy all that life gives to us. Why does the world end when someone leaves you? In reality, it doesn’t end. Life goes on. Lessons continue to be learned. That is, if we choose to let it.

Fearless and writing notes to my 2013 self, apparently.

"There are a lot of things about life I still don’t know, but what I do know is that I know exactly..."

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 09:41:00 -0700

“There are a lot of things about life I still don’t know, but what I do know is that I know exactly what I want from it. And that’s really all that matters.”

- by yours truly.

"Birth date is one moment in time, a once in a year celebration. Re-birth date is of your choosing;..."

Thu, 28 Feb 2013 16:37:17 -0800

“

Birth date is one moment in time, a once in a year celebration.

Re-birth date is of your choosing; time and frequency. Be reborn everyday as you awaken into all that you are and will be.

”

- my friend vinh.

I feel a great heaviness in my heart. Sometimes I find the speed and randomness at which life...

Wed, 27 Feb 2013 00:07:27 -0800

I feel a great heaviness in my heart. Sometimes I find the speed and randomness at which life travels unbearable to think about. It’s not often, but when they’re there, the thoughts are crippling. It’s in these moments where I lose myself in a state of limbo. Retreating to avoid human contact, and at the same time, screaming on the inside for someone to understand. In this war against myself, the battles I lose are now few and far between, but none the less draining to my spirit. I know I’ll win the war, but sometimes I wish I never had to fight in the first place.

God sent me an angel yesterday.

Sat, 23 Feb 2013 13:12:00 -0800

I got in an accident last night. As soon as it happened, I got out of my car — blessed to be unscathed but still shaken up from the experience — and walked by a very kind Filipino man in his car who said that he saw the whole thing and I was completely in the right. As I was getting ready to exchange the necessary information with the other driver, the first words out of that driver’s mouth were words of blame. Once the Filipino man saw me get yelled at, he offered to be my witness. He stopped his car in the middle of a busy street and as we were honked at, he gave me his phone number and rushed off.

I just spoke to him now, and he said as soon as he saw the driver yelling at me instead of apologizing, he wanted to help. “I saw everything, and I will tell them the whole story. I don’t want you to have any trouble with this at all.” He was secretive about his full name and said he didn’t want to get too close to me, as it might hurt his credibility as my witness. As I thanked him profusely (and cursed myself for not being able to more accurately express the gratitude and relief I felt), he said he just wants to help and do nice things for people who need it, and we should all do the same for each other, always. The entire time I was fighting back tears at the thought of such generosity, as I myself longed for a way to repay his kindness.

No more than five minutes after we hung up, still reeling in awe from the actions of this wonderful man, the other driver’s insurance company called me for my side of the story. They immediately ruled the accident his fault, and not mine.

Kindness, love and gratitude to others will always come full circle.

Outside the window of my new office at Complex LA is a stunning...

Fri, 15 Feb 2013 21:40:39 -0800

Outside the window of my new office at Complex LA is a stunning panoramic view that spans from my DTLA home to my old office building slash former home at Initiative (not shown). The sight is a humble reminder of how far I’ve come since starting there. Incredibly thankful, blessed, and feeling more driven and passionate than ever about my future. Cheers to my Initiative family for bringing me here - you all know who you are. And cheers to my new family at Complex for taking me further. #weekone #sharonhaveadream

How does one man get away with so much evil, and not even be aware of the hurt he causes others? Can...

Tue, 25 Dec 2012 03:05:00 -0800

How does one man get away with so much evil, and not even be aware of the hurt he causes others? Can he really believe his words are merely reactions towards the supposed wrongdoings of those around him? Truths, even? How can one man really believe he is deserving of love and respect, after all he’s done to wrong the ones bound to him by contract, by blood, and by laws of sheer humanity? And what’s worse, how can this man be my father? How am I to live with him for eternity? Through life and death, his blood is mine. Eternity. I realized tonight—my independence is a curse, a coping mechanism birthed from learning not to trust anyone on this planet. Long planted in me since the earliest of childhood, this emotional detachment from memories of screaming voices and words meant to kill, was my way of surviving. If it had not been for this shield I created for myself, I am confident in saying I would not be here today. I’ve learned to seek approval from within, I’ve learned to build a life without a man’s support, I’ve learned to rely on no one but myself. But because of this shield, how do I continue living a life? A life alongside others? I’m becoming agitated and tired. Retreating into myself as I fight a blind war against everyone around me. The war I started fighting for my mother decades ago, will easily soon become a losing war against myself as I push any possibilities for love far, far away. How much longer can I protect her, and protect myself, before I start hurting myself? Or has it already begun?

What I love most about public transportation is watching people on the bus and wondering what their...

Fri, 19 Oct 2012 19:18:00 -0700

What I love most about public transportation is watching people on the bus and wondering what their stories might be. Right now as I take the bus Downtown I notice a man sitting across from me with a Los Angeles city guide. It makes me wonder what country he might be from, whether he’s travelling alone, and whether he likes this city I call my home. I watched as he watched someone else’s baby smile at others, and I witnessed a smile crack on his own weathered face. It reminds me of all the times I was a stranger in other cities and countries, wandering someone else’s hometown aimlessly via public transit. It’s humbling to think that we all come from different cultures and different walks in life, but all take pleasure in the same things: exploring, learning, seeing, and the innocent laughter of a small child.

12fv.

Thu, 11 Oct 2012 00:40:00 -0700

12fv.